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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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But then, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the river, and they’re all laughing and taking selfies. I’m thinking, “Man, I’m too old for this.” But then I remember, I used to be like that. So, I shout across, “Hey! You guys want a pic with a real shepherd?” They look at me like I’m nuts, but one of them comes over. We take a goofy selfie, and I’m like, “This is going on my wall!”